Not What You Know...

In high school I was told it's not what you know, but who you know. When I heard it I understood what was meant, but it was one of those phrases that I couldn't completely understand until I had more life experience. At the time I didn't know that many people, and I wasn't sure what I knew.

After a few years in college and few more in the work force I understand more clearly what I was told. What wasn't clear after that time has become obvious in the four months that we have been on the road.

Since the first mention to the first person about this journey, we have been given so much by the people that we know. Neighboring campers have helped with firewood or offered us a seat at their fire. Friends old and new have opened up their homes to us.

We could spend the year after we get back doing favors, running errands, making phone calls and performing other tasks for the people we know that have helped us out with our trip and still be in debt to them. Perhaps that's the greatest thing about the people we know, they don't look at it as a debt to be repaid.

From parents who forward mail, and paint apartments, to friends and family who look after our house and sponsor our trip, and the many giving individuals along the road, we are truly blessed by the people who surround us.

In planning Our Trip, we spent months trying to anticipate all the things that might arise as we went along. Looking back we were pretty successful in our planning. One thing that we were not prepared for was the selfless outpouring of generosity we have given by so many people.

So now, what I know is that I know some phenomenal people. Thanks to you all.

Hindsight

When we test drove the "Cruiser" in January of this year I distinctly remember the uncomfortable feeling of looking into the rear view mirror mounted on the windshield and not being able to see what was behind me. I thought to myself as I looked into the mirror and saw the reflection of the RV kitchen, "Why did they bother putting this mirror in here. I can't see anything." As Becky, the salesman and I drove up and down I-75, I continually looked in that mirror, each time seeing the same thing and each time wishing I could see the road behind me. I have since learned to use the side mirrors much more effectively. I've also discovered that the mirror on the middle of the windshield is my favorite one to use. Now, when I look in that mirror, I see that Abby is working on her math homework, or Carter is just about to fall asleep, and most enjoyable of all, is watching the two of them giggle when Carter says "Poop."
I know that by the time the trip is over, I'm going to have to adjust the mirror to see the top of Carter's head, and that the little girl that we left with will be more grown up. I'm sure that some of my favorite memories from our time on the road will be framed by that mirror.
So I'm glad they decided to leave that mirror hanging there, although I'm not sure it will be there when the next guy drives the Cruiser.

New Places, Great Old Friends

We've had the chance to see so many amazing sights in the few months we've been on the road and met a lot of great people. We have also made a real effort to stay connected to the family and friends we left back home. Sharing our experience through our photos, blog, facebook, twitter and email has been enjoyable too. However, it's hard to beat having someone show us Chicago's best pizza or talking baseball with a friend at the Louisville Slugger Museum. In the past few weeks we have made rendezvous with relatives and friends at a few of our stops, and we have plans for more such meetings. It brings an entirely new dimension to our journey and a welcome addition to our daily routine.

At our stationary home, we loved to host parties, round tables, gatherings and dinners. It was one of the things we've missed the most while on the road. Though the venue for those meetings is much smaller, it is still very exciting for us to host visitors.

The other aspect of these on the road connections that is not lost on us, is the effort and sacrifice these people have decided to make to visit us. Not everyone has 12 months of vacation time, and for someone to carve out some of their free time and spend it with us, we understand the value of that and appreciate it.

Experiencing this country with our children was our intention from the start, but having our family and friends experience parts of our journey with us is an added bonus we hadn't counted on.

Strange

It's taken quite a while, up until the last week or so, but I have finally stopped comparing life in our house to life on the road. I'm more used to the way the plumbing works in our RV than I am in our house. I'm sure by the time we get home it will take a few days before I stop looking for a dump station, or forget about filling up with water.
The differences are many and they are also great.
Obviously there is a huge difference in space. I can sit at the table in the RV and reach just about anything in the kitchen. That is convenient and confining at the same time. In Abby's bed you had better not jump up, because the ceiling is only two feet from the mattress. Showers are short or you run out of water, and the bathroom isn't exactly cavernous. You give up the space inside, because you gain so much outside.
When we hit one hundred days on the road, it meant that in total, we had spent 104 days living in the RV. Our pre-trip test run was a short one. Even though it answered a lot of questions for us about whether we could handle it, it was too short to answer everything.
Can I say that the tight space never gets to me? No. Can I say that it is completely worth the sacrifice in square footage? Yes.
The thing about this trip that will be the hardest to adjust to when we return home, will be waking up to the same scenery everyday. Granted many of the days we wake up there is nothing to see but pavement and parked cars, but I know that I'm just a few miles away from something I've never seen before.
I've become enamored with being a stranger. I enjoy not being a local. Sometimes the only difference between something exotic and something mundane is familiarity. Right now, in this moment of my life I'm enjoying the unfamiliar, the foreign and the strange. The World's Largest Ball of Twine comes to mind.
For the people of Darwin the ball is no longer the show, it's the parade of goofs like me that drag their families there to see it. They don't sit at Jack Tavern, across the street from the Twine Ball Inn, and talk about the ball. They talk about the guy in the Ohio State hat driving a campa pullin a campa that made his disinterested kids stand in front of the ball too long and take pictures. It's the foreign or strange that attracts your attention.

So now that I'm used to living in a smaller space and spending more time looking out a windshield than at a TV screen, it might be difficult to go back. Then again, maybe after 48 states my wanderlust will be satisfied. When the trip ends, I can bring back all the foreign things to my familiar space.

New View

In my boss's office at my last job, he had taped to the wall an old sheet of paper with the title "Attitude is Everything". It was a lengthy note and it's been quite a while since I've read it, but I remember that it suggested we control much about our day with our attitude. If we decide that we will have a positive attitude about our work and commit to that, we can maintain a positive outlook despite the problems that arise.

I can also remember thinking that following through on keeping a positive attitude is much more difficult when the number of problems increase. I was more likely to fall into a poor frame of mind and have it pervade all of my day.

I've often thought of that note since we left for our trip. Mostly because it has been much easier to maintain a positive outlook these days. What I have found is that while attitude is important, it is built on perspective.

My perspective on how things are going feeds my attitude. What has struck me the most about the first part of our journey is how many times I have stopped to really observe the situation. To look at what I am doing at that moment and put it into the scope of my life.

Sometimes it's easy, other times not so much. Quiet talks on the beach, easy. Hours in Washington D.C. traffic, more difficult. However, I have found that the more often I take the time to do it, the easier it gets.

You don't have to be on an epic journey to see it. It can be as simple as the new perspective you have watching "It's a Wonderful Life" for the first time as a father. I think that movie can give you a new vision every time you watch it.

My daughter will occasionally stop me in a moment and toss me into a different line of sight. The most dramatic, when I get a chance to look at myself from her vantage point. I learn something profound each time.

Sitting with her each day now and doing the job of teacher has made me want to send out letters of apology to all of my former teachers. She is a model student by comparison. It gives me a new perspective.

Waking up in a parking lot is much better in an RV. A new perspective.

Going to places I went when I was a kid with my children, and seeing them enjoy it or not. A new perspective.

I've told Becky a few times since we left that I look at somethings differently now. I'm glad I'm able to recognize it.

If I ever go back to my old office and see that note on the wall, I know that it will mean something different to me, because I have a completely new perspective.

What are you so worried about?

Worries can control your life if you let them. No matter what your situation, if you focus on your worries they can consume you.

Before we left on this trip we spent a lot of time trying to address as many worries as we could. Months and months of planning and re-planning to account for all the difficulties that we might encounter along the way. Of course you can't plan for everything. There are always unexpected expenses and situations that arise along the journey.

When I was working at my last job, I worried about how effectively I was doing my job. Was I getting enough done each day or putting in enough time at the office? I had simultaneous personal worries. Was I spending enough time with my kids? Why can't I get all my work done at home that I want to finish? These were the things that filled my head as I went through my everyday life.

I had hoped that when we left for the trip I could leave many of my worries behind. It would be difficult to work on a house that was thousands of miles away. My concerns at the office would obviously be left at my old desk. So I should have little to worry about, my mind should be at rest. Funny thing about my mind though, it just replaced my old worries with different ones. Now instead of worrying about what items I was out of at work, I spent my time thinking about the tires, and the oil and the transmission. I listened to every sound my new home made as we drove. Every squeak and knock and bump made my mental list until I was able to discern the cause.

I spent weeks obsessing about the transmission. Was it strong enough to handle the load of the RV and the trailer? How much would it cost to repair if it did fail? Over and over I rolled it around in my brain as I drove.

So when the RV did break down on a quiet road in the NY state park all my worries were validated. Right?

It took this major engine failure to convince me that I could worry all day long about a hundred things and it wouldn't change the outcome.

My new plan is to be as prepared as possible. Check the oil, the transmission fluid and have regular checks preformed and accept that that is all I can do. Even with regular maintenance there will be breakdowns. It applies to RVs, marriages, work and life. Besides, filling the time between with worry and angst is no way to travel.

Dirty Laundry

There's nothing quite like fresh sheets. I've always felt that way, even before life on the road limited our opportunities for doing laundry to every couple of weeks. Laundry day always feels so fresh, so productive. But the last time I visited laundromats on a regular basis was in college. And judging from the last 13 states we've visited not much has changed in 10 years.

I've found quite a variety of laundromat arrangements in my travels. There are the strip mall facilities, the stand alone buildings or the campground laundry rooms. I've even made a mini photo project of it. "Laundromats Across America" or something like that. Maybe I'll get around to posting those photos on the website one of these days.

The big thing I've noticed about laundromats is this: I go there to get some pretty personal items (i.e. underwear and sheets) clean. So why are the facilities usually so dirty. I apologize right now to the handful of laundromat owners in America I'm offending with this comment. But this is a widespread problem. I frequently find gunk left in the washers. If something drops to the floor from the dryer, it's probably going to need re-washed or at least brushed off vigorously. And forget about using the bathroom.

The one great thing about laundromats though is that despite the paradox of trying to extract "clean from dirty" I can get this chore done in about two hours. Which means, maybe I've saved enough time to catch a midday nap on those fresh sheets.

~Becky